


I Am Nothing Without You By My Side

by Kaimu



Series: The Retirement Series [4]
Category: Swimming RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-11
Updated: 2013-01-26
Packaged: 2017-11-20 21:48:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/590004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaimu/pseuds/Kaimu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael's at his mother's house, having his weekly dinner with his family, when he gets the news. (warnings in the note inside)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This is part of 'the retirement series' but this part will have more than one chapter. Takes place after Rio.
> 
> Warnings: major character in a coma, flashbacks to happy-and not so happy-times

Michael's at his mother's house, having his weekly dinner with his family, when he gets the news.

The TV stood on in the background to some series that Whitney and Hilary both followed, when it was suddenly interrupted for an important newsflash.

_"This news just came in that there was a plane crash near Jacksonville this evening. We don't know a lot about the situation yet, only that there are a few deaths confirmed and some severely injured. We'll come back when we have more facts."_

Michael drops the plates he had been holding and was going to bring to the kitchen, his mother and sisters all stare at him with surprise and fear in their eyes.

"Michael?" Debbie asks her son, stepping closer to him to take his shaking hands into her own. "Michael. What's wrong?"

Michael's eyes are still glued to the television screen, it's only when Debbie squeezes his hands that his gaze flashes over to her.

"What's going on, Michael?" Debbie prompts gently, "What's got you so upset?"

Michael opens and closes his mouth a few times, but nothing comes out. He takes a deep breath, trying not to choke on it or break out into sobs.

"Ryan," he finally manages to choke out. "Ryan was on that plane."

Hilary and Whitney both gasp and Debbie's grip tightens on Michael's hands.

"Are you sure, honey?" Debbie tries,"Maybe it's another plane. Try and call him."

Michael shakes his head, but he does pick up his phone, presses speed dial nr. 1, then holds it to his ear. Nothing.

"It's his plane, mom. I can feel it. And he doesn't pick up his phone."

"Ok," Debbie says, knowing she has to take control before her son loses it. "We have to stay calm now, sweetheart. I'll call the people of the news, see if they have found out to which hospital they are taking the survivors."

Michael nods, then lets himself be steered into Hilary's arms and just stays numb while she hugs him tight and whispers comforting nonsense into his ear.

All he can think of is Ryan and pray he's one of the survivors.

\--++--

Debbie gets Bob to actually get them a helicopter, because no plane is going to Jacksonville that night anymore because of the crash, and she leaves with Michael and a duffel bag with some stuff from both Michael and Ryan, telling the pilot to go as fast as he can.

Once they have landed as close as they can to the hospital, Debbie has already called them a cab. She planned everything out beforehand, just to not have to put more stress on her son.

As soon as the cabdraver stops in front of the hospital, Michael is running inside and up to the nurses' desk.

"Where are the victims of the plane crash?" he all but demands. The nurse startles a little when she recognizes him.

"They're putting them in a room over there," she points over her shoulder to one of the rooms behind her. "But if they're critical, they've taken them straight to the OR. Was there omeone you know on that plane, mr. Phelps?"

"Yes," Michael breathes out quickly. "Yes, I do. Ryan. Ryan Lochte."

The nurse's eyes widen and she's out of her seat in no time. "Follow me. I'll lead you to the room so you can see if he's there."

Debbie catches up with them when they've reached the room and Michael grabs her hand before they enter.

_'Please. Let Ryan be here.'_

Once the door opens, they're greeted by the sight of doctors and nurses rushing around, the sound of machines beeping and the moans and groan from the patients.

"Take your time with looking around." the nurse says, then leaves them alone to back to her desk because she can't leave it empty too long.

Michael is just standing, so Debbie has to tug on his hand to get him to move around the room and look for Ryan. Only to find out that he's not there...

"He's...He's not here, mom." Michael says quietly, but Debbie can feel the panic in him start to rise.

"Maybe they've taken him to the OR."

"But what if they didn't, mom?" there it is...Michael's voice is rising until he's all but screaming out the last part. "What if he's dead?"

Heads turn to look at them, then one nurse says something to a doctor and makes her way over to them.

"See, Michael," Debbie says, squeezing his hand. "That nurse probably knows more and is gonna tell us now where Ryan is."

Michael doesn't dare to hope too much...

"You're looking for mr. Lochte?"

"Yes," Michael rushes out, "Where is he? Is he alive? Where the hell is he?"

"Calm yourself, Michael!" Debbie says sternly, but the nurse seems to understand Michael's reaction.

"He is still alive." she smiles when she hears Michael's breath of relief. "Once we found out who he was, we put him in a seperated room from the others. If you'll follow me, the doctor will be able to tell you more about his condition."

Michael wants to ask more, but Debbie squeezes his hand to silence him and they both follow the nurse to a second door, where a doctor is already waiting for them.

"How is Ryan?" Michael asks when he's shaking the doctor's hand, not even bothering with introductions. Debbie's ready to reprimand him again but the doctor just chuckles.

"Good day, mr. Phelps, I'm doctor Ross and mr. Lochte is alright in the sense that he's still alive and breathing."

"Are his injuries that bad?"

"Not physically, no. A few bruised ribs, one broken but not unrepairably, a few cuts and scratches. The problem is, your partner, if it's ok I call him that, because basically...he is, hit his head pretty hard and he's in a coma. He's hooked up onto machines that will keep his vitals under a watchful eye and we're gonna keep an eye on him as much as we can too, of course."

A coma...Well, at least he wasn't dead.

"Can I see him?"

"Of course," the doctor answers and opens the door, "Go ahead. Don't be afraid of all the wires."

Michael takes a deep breath, then steps inside, gripping onto the handles of the duffel bag and his mother's hand just a little tighter than before. Stepping towards the bed with the machine and all the wires, Michael notices howweird it is to see Ryan lying there, no movement at all except for the slow rising and falling of his chest, like he's just sleeping. Well, technically, he is. He's just probably not gonna wake up the next morning. Although Michael surely hopes that he will...

"Take your time, mr. Phelps." the doctor speaks from outside the doorway, "I'll still be here later on if you still have questions."

Michael nods and the doctor gives him a supporting smile before closing the door. Michael drops the duffel and lets go of his mother's hand before sitting down on the edge of Ryan's hospital bed, then lets one of his hands stroke slowly through Ryan's short curls.

Debbie watches her son for a little while, knowing that he's on the verge of an emotional breakdown, she puts her hand on his shoulder to get his attention without him having to look away from his boyfriend, because she knows that he can't.

"I'm gonna go outside and call his mother. She probably doesn't know that Ryan was on that plane and te hospital staff probably didn't have the time yet to call her because she would already be here then. You want me to bring you something back to drink?"

Michael shakes his head, "No, thanks."

"Ok," Debbie says softly, then squeezes his shoulder gently, "I'll leave you two alone then."

Michael jerks his head in affirmative, then waits until he hears his mother's footsteps walking away and the sound of the door closing before he finally lets go of his resolve.

He shifts on the bed, then leans forward so his forehead touches Ryan's, his one hand still in his curls, and lets the tears fall.

"God, Ry." he whispers against Ryan's ear, "I was so scared...So fucking scared that you were dead. But you're not. Thank God, you're not." He presses his lips even closer to Ryan's ear. "Now you'll just have to fight you're way through this coma, but I know you can, because you are a fighter Ryan Lochte." he pauses when another set of tears trail down his cheeks, then he uses a name he hasn't used for a while. "You just have to wake up. Please, Doggy. I can't do this without you."

What 'this' exactly meant, he didn't really know, but he didn't care either. He felt like he couldn't do anything without Ryan; 'this' was just the best word he could think of to use right now.

Tags: michael phelps, michael/ryan, phlochte, ryan lochte, the retirement series


	2. Chapter 2

After Debbie had called Ike, she and Steven were on their way to the hospital, informing Ryan's sisters and brothers so they could get to the hospital as well.

There was one other passenger in the oldest Lochte's car. A passenger who sadly couldn't join them inside the hospital. It was Ryan's dog; Carter.

Ryan's parents met up with Debbie first, who then led them to Ryan's room, where Michael was still sitting, but now holding Ryan's hand in his.

Ike gasped, clasping her hand in front of her mouth, before all but running towards the bed. Steve wasa little slower and clamped a hand on Michael's shoulder, before sitting down next to his wife.

"I'm so sorry," Michael whispered, making both Ike and Steve look up at him in surprise.

"This isn't your fault, Michael." Steve said and Ike nodded.

"You couldn't have known that his plane would crash." She said, then looked back down at her son, carding her hand though his hair, much like Michael had done before.

Michael felt his mother's presence right behind him and leaned back a little, feeling his mother's hands coming to rest on his shoulders.

"I'm still sorry." He didn't get a response, which he didn't expect to get either, so he looked up at his mother. "Does Greg know?"

Debbie nodded, "I called him as well. He's gonna come by as soon as he can."

"What about the others? Cullen and Nate and Allie..."

"I thought it would be better if you contacted them. By the way, Whitney and Hilary have both texted me to ask how you're holding up."

Michael shrugged, looking down at his and Ryan's hand, their fingers laced together.

"I'll be fine." the 'as soon as Ryan wakes up' wasn't added, but it didn't have to. Debbie squeezed his shoulders. "I'll send them a group text. But...I don't want to leave him."

Ike looked up at him again and smiled sadly. "I don't think it will do any trouble to this machine. Go ahead and text them."

Michael gave a small, but grateful smile, then fumbled with his phone because he wasn't used to text one-handedly. That's what you get when you don't want to let go of your unconscious boyfriend's hand.

'Ryan was on the plane that crashed near Jacksonville. He's in the hospital in a coma.'

It's short and to the point, just like it's supposed to be, and sends into a group text to all the swimmers he and Ryan are closest to.

He doesn't have to wait long for replies, Cullen sending him that he's on his way and Allison that she'll be there as soon as she can. Matt and Nathan tell him to stay strong, Conor and Ricky don't know what to say except that're gonna try and visit as well. They were all the same messages, really.

He just wished it didn't have to be this way. That Ryan would be sitting next to him now, playing the goofball that he is most of the time, instead of lying so lifeless on that tupid hospital bed.

~~++~~

Ryan's brothers and sisters turn up one at a time and even then Ryan's parents leave the room because the doctor said it was better for Ryan to not have to much of a ruckus around him right now. Michael refused to leave the room, which they all understood, so someone had to give; in this case Ran's parents and Debbie.

Cullen turns up pretty soon, looking awfully upset when he sees one of his best friends so lifeless, while Ryan is usually so full of life. It scares the crap out of him.

Allison gives him the biggest bear hug she has ever given him, then talks about things they can do when Ryan wakes up. When, not if. Because she's sure he's gonna wake up soon.

Michael doesn't dare to go up in her enthusiasm too much, but he does smile gratefully at her.

After a while, everyone's gone except Michael, Debbie and Ryan's parents. It's getting close to when visiting hour ends, but Michael is adamant about staying the night. The nurses bring a coth into the room and a spare pillow and blanket, so Michael can unfold it and sleep on it once everyone else is gone.

There's one more problem, though... One of the nurses enters the room to inform them that there's a dog inside a car who's barking up the whole neighborhood and if it's possible that the dog is of one of them.

Ike and Steve apologize and Steve says he'll go and shut him up, but Michael has another idea.

"Can I bring him in?"

"I'm sorry, mr. Phelps," the nurse answers, "Dogs are not allowed in here."

"But I know Carter. He won't shut up until he's seen his boss. He knows something'swrong. Dogs can feel things like that."

The nurse looks around the room, searching for help, but all the parents do is shrug.

"Fine," the nurse finally relents. "Most visitors have already left. Just make sure he keeps quiet."

"Thank you." Michael says, then leans down towards Ryan and kisses his forehead. "I'll be right back."

Steve gives him the carkeys and then Michael is hurrying out of the hospital, towards the car. It isn't hard to find at all with Carter's constant barking.

As soon as Carter sees Michael, his tail starts wagging and his barks stop. Michael opens the door and gets attacked by two paws on his shoulder and a tongue in his face. Michael has to laugh, something he hasn't done yet for the whole day.

"Easy boy," Michael says, taking hold of the doberman's leach. "I'm gonna take you to Ryan, but you've got to be very quiet, ok?"

Carter gives one bark, Michael takes it as a yes. He locks the car again, then takes, a very quiet, Carter into the hospital.

The closer they get to Ryan's room, the more restless Carter becomes. Michael can tell by the way he walks with his tail between his legs and his ears flat against his head.

Once they enter the room, Carter trails slowly behind Michael, who's leading him towards the bed. Once there, Michael takes Ryan's hand. "There's someone here who would like to say hello, Ry." he says and then holds Ryan's hand in front of Carter's nose, who first sniffs at it, then gives it a tentative look and licks it.

When Ryan doesn't even wiggle his fingers, Carter whines and nudges at his boss' hand, but it doesn't move. Michael pats his head instead.

"I'm sorry, boy. Ryan won't be able to play with you for a while."

Carter whines again, laying his head down on Michael's lap, still looking at Ryan's hand. Michael felt like Carter was just as sad as he was, seeing Ryan like that.

"We should go." Steven says quietly, laying one hand on his wife's shoulder, the other one on his oldest son's arm. "We'll see you tomorrow, Ry."

Ike bend down, kissing her son's forehead. "Ti amo, hijo." She clasped his hand in hers, squeezing it tightly before straightening up, wiping at her eyes with one hand, while the other searched out her husband's hand. "Take care of him, Michael."

Michael nods, kissing Ike's cheek and shaking Steven's hand, before leading Carter away from Ryan's side.

"Come on, boy. It's time to go." Carter hesitates, so Michael puts on his leash that he found in the trunk of the car and hands it to Steven.

Carter struggles just a little bit, before following Lochte senior out of the room. Ike looks back one more time before she closes the door.

Then it was just Michael and an unconscious Ryan.

Michael takes the coth and pushes it as close to the hospital bed as he can. He fluffs up his pillow, takes the sleeping bag they gave him and lies down on the make shift bed.

He lifts his arm, grabbing Ryan's hand and pulls on it, so his arm is dangling over the bed and holds on to the hand.

He falls asleep like that, clutching at Ryan's hand like it's a lifeline.

He doesn't notice the small twitch of Ryan's fingers in the middle of the night...


End file.
